Hopelessly Devoted

“What your mind dwells on, 
your heart will cherish, 
  and your feet will follow.”
 -Anonymous

This is one of my all time favorite quotes.  You can literally apply it to anything, but in this case I’m going to apply it to how we relate to boys.

So you like a guy, and whether you have liked him for a long time or its a blooming crush, everyone can relate to one of these phrases:

"Thinking of Him" by Roy Lichtenstein

“I love him so much”

“he doesn’t understand what he does to me when he acts like that” 

“why doesn’t he see it”

“he is just so pretty”

“he texts me all the time”

“I can’t handle being around him”

“I could just see us being together”
“I don’t want to give up on my feelings”
“I catch him looking at me sometimes”
“I just get excited to see him”
“I feel like he wants my attention”
“Just look at how intentional he is”
"I hate when we are in a room and he doesn't talk to me; he probably knows"
"we danced together"
"we had a meaningful conversation"

Etc. etc.....

It is okay to say these things but let me ask you this: why are you saying these phrases?
A lot of the time the answer is you have been dwelling on this guy in your thought life.  

If you are thinking about him all the time, of course you are going to like him.  You start to see the good in him (the things Jesus has redeemed) as well as the things that normally attract you.  Before you know it you are head over heels and he literally has done nothing to encourage it, only things you have blown out of proportion have encouraged these feelings.  (See the connection from head to heart?)

Blog: Pieces of Me, He Gives Me Caterpillars

Now its story time:
Once upon a time there was a guy and... well me (let’s be real).  We met and were great friends pretty quickly.  The more time I spent around him, I began to think about him all the time.  I had some friends convinced he liked me because I would talk about things such as the time we spent together, similar interests, we would look for when he was looking at me (see some of the above list).  The point is I was not engaging God about him.  I started to pray that I would learn from the situation, and God did teach me; but that was just surface level spiritually.  Then I prayed for God to take it away because it became clear it was not good for me and there was no way he could actually like me; in this I learned a little more but still not deep enough.

Then God brought it to my attention “He must increase, but I must decrease” John 3:30.  This comes from the story of John the Baptist where he had prepared the way and had many followers, but he rejoiced in Jesus growing more popular than he because John knew Jesus was the only source of true joy. My control over my thoughts must decrease, God in them must increase because only true joy can be found in Him; not the circumstances I found myself in with a boy.  Once learning this lesson I still liked the guy for awhile, but God was what I dwelt on.  God's beauty far surpassed the guy I liked and there was no need to look for hope in a relationship with him because I already had a beautiful one with God. This major crush eventually dwindled away because God decided that it wasn’t time for it and it was His to control. (So if any boys are reading this no need to try and figure it out)

http://www.inspired-art.com/inspiredartworks/home.html

With all this being said this doesn’t mean you should beat yourself up.  Clearly I have done this myself and many others have and we will continue to do this; we are going to mess up because we are all sinners. This also doesn’t mean that the guy doesn’t like you or that you will stop liking the guy. 
Its as simple as this: instead of looking for potential signs of romance with man, look for the definite signs of romance with God. All of it is just allowing God to be what you are dwelling on in your mind, so you will cherish Him in your heart, and follow Him with your feet.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7 (NIV)